The Mess He Left Me In

He had been addicted for a while.

He changed as soon as he got his first fix, that’s the only time I see him smile

I didn’t think it was a big deal, I mean I’ve done it a few times before.

Towards the end I just wanted to be a good friend, but helping him became a chore

I told him to stop… it was going to kill him

This addiction was silent, normalized but it was deadly.

I look at him with concern, but he is grim.

“It’s not a big deal, everyone does it. Just chill.” He told me

his eyes were darker than the sea…

I knew helping could get me hurt,

He made me feel like dirt.

He got unsocial, drowning in anxiety.

But tonight, was the last he saw of me.

Two minutes until my curfew, my dad is waiting up

Turning the corner his phone dung,

“HEY HEADS UP!”

He wasn’t expecting to hurt me that night.

Everything turned white.

I’m gone now, and he’s lost in his own head,

He could have listened but instead he read

And the message was so important that I’m dead.

Looking Through The Lens

Moments are just moments

They do not last forever,

We all think that we are fairly clever

Snapping a photo so it’s there evermore.

You live these moments and they disappear into the past,

You try your hardest to capture every moment in pictures, but those will never last.

You can’t remember your first concert, party, or your little brother’s graduation

But at least you have a photo to show because if you don’t get a photo “you didn’t have a blast”

If we all weren’t so obsessed with capturing these moments we could be making memories.

So instead of flashing a photo, write it down in your diaries,  

Because we need to stop living through a lens

And take a cleanse.

Thank You…

I dream,

I dream of  a better life.

A life where my friends and I can go out every weekend

A life where my mom and I get along.

My teeth would be so white they look fake and I would only be 100 pounds,

My hair would never be out of place and my outfits would never be worn twice.

I got my wish and I live this life now… or that’s what my followers believe.

I never post without at least an hour of editing my photos                                 

Perfect teeth,

Perfect hair,

Perfect weight,

Perfect face,

Perfect life?

Thank you Photoshop.

I never post pictures from the same night

New friends,

New outfit,

New party,

New adventure,

New me?

Thank you Instagram.

I post to make people want to be me

My mom is my best friend,

I’m the prettiest of the girls,

My dog is adorable,

My clothes are expensive,

I’m so adventurous,

Is this me?

Thank you Snapchat

Social media you have changed my life, you have changed how people view me and for that I owe you my time, my thoughts, myself…my life.

The Cage

I cannot and will not put it down,

Text after text,

post after post,

I have to keep up.

I’m not addicted it is just my age.

*DINNNNNNNNG*

“your screen time for the week is eighteen hours”

The notifications keep growing, I swear this thing has powers.

I put it away for dinner and I’m breaking out in hives.

It vibrates on my lap, then my watch, and now I can hear my laptop

Oh look it’s a new red splotch…

I’m not addicted it is just my age.

Why can’t I stop, I want to put it down

But someone might need me around.                                                               

I’m going to bed now with it under my pillow the sound is on loud.

I’m not addicted it is just my age.

I’m falling out of class,

Mom said “you’ll get it back when you pass.”

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t breathe,

Without it a seethe.

I am addicted, it is not my age

I was just locked in a cage.

Good Riddance

You have become my best friend,

You know what I have to do when I need to do it,

You know my favorite music,

And you show me things that I would think are cool,

You come up with great answers for my homework,   

And we have so many pictures together.

I’m sorry I’ve been distant lately,

I’m sorry I don’t answer anymore,

I’m sorry I hurt you the other day,

I really wish I could stay.

I think it’s time to move on, I met someone new

someone better,

someone who’s not you.

I don’t look at you the same anymore

It is just becoming a chore.

You know what happens next,

And I know your scared.

I’ll miss our texts,

Or the post that we shared.

I promise this is for the best, I’m taking off the chains.

You had me under your control and did not leave many remains,

Although that’s okay with me,

Because I am officially free and you are trying to plea.

So good luck and good riddance because we are through.