Chapter 2: Dismissed
“Paul, I know what this sounds like, but I promise I wouldn’t be calling you back into service if I wasn’t positive the info in this data center could win us the whole war.”
“I know how important this mission is, Sarge, but I just don’t want to leave my family alone. And I don’t want them having to wheel me back home from the hospital again.”
“You know that I’d never let anything happen to you, as long as we stick together.”
“With all due respect, that’s the same thing you said last time.”
“Then think about it this way – the sooner we finish this mission, the sooner you and all our comrades get to go home and be with their families, too. Besides, from the money you’ll be making, you’ll never have to be away from them again.”
“… Fine. But as soon as we get that data and our victory is assured, I’m gone.”
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Saturday
I met Paul when he had first joined the Corps fresh out of high school. His family did not have enough money to attend his dream school, so he took a military grant to cover his college education. He was mainly an IT guy, so he never really saw any actual combat. Although I doubted his ability at first, he proved to be indispensable for the unit, as without him, my troops would have been going in blind into enemy territory. I owe most of my victories out in the field to him. At moments when he would get anxious and threaten to break down in the control room, I was always there to calm him down and offer a listening ear for his worries. Private Paul was the single best soldier I ever had. He was a good friend, an even better father, and I cared about him deeply. He only wanted to do what was right. I wish his family didn’t have to be burdened by this, and there is no doubt he will be missed dearly. I really wish I could’ve saved him, but-
“You both did an excellent job retrieving this valuable data, Sergeant. We assure you, your Private’s sacrifice will not be in vain.”
When the commander gave me my debrief, I saluted quickly, then proceeded to walk back out into the hallway. Once I knew I was alone in the bathroom, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Days of built-up anguish just came spilling out like a waterfall. I can’t remember when I last cried. I have lost soldiers to war before, but none have impacted me this deeply. But the commander didn’t seem that way. Did he really think that little of us? Or rather did I think that little of my forces before now? Was this all even worth it? What do we even get out of this? Ever since that fateful moment, I feel like I’ve lost more than I’ve gained by staying here. I may have made a wrong choice. But there’s no going back now. I must see this war through, no matter what.
That is it. Once this war is over, I am resigning from the army. I can’t do this anymore. Although I have volunteered to break the news to the family myself, I am not looking forward to it.
That was truly the worst day of my entire service. I may have accomplished my mission, but I failed my comrade.
